The Tigers Read online

  Tigers on Television

  J. BURCHETT AND S. VOGLER

  Illustrated by Guy Parker-Rees

  For our friends Sue and John Neal, with love

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Tigers on Television

  By the Same Author

  Imprint

  Tigers on Television

  It was Saturday morning. Billy Bright and the Tigers Under-Tens Football Team were warming up in Tottingham Town park. They had a league match against Crystal Rovers. Their coach, Billy’s dad, was pacing up and down the touchline, looking at his watch.

  ‘What’s up, Mr Bright?’ asked Mona the goalkeeper.

  ‘Nervous about the match?’ said Bullseye.

  ‘We beat the Rovers last time,’ said Kim.

  ‘And Blocker had his boots on the wrong feet,’ added Lisa.

  ‘I’m not worried,’ said Billy’s dad. ‘I’ve got something exciting to tell you. The Tigers are going to be on television!’

  ‘You’re joking!’ gasped Terry.

  ‘I don’t believe you, Dad!’ said Billy.

  ‘I’ll prove it,’ said Mr Bright. ‘I’ve got a letter.’

  He marched over to his car and rummaged around on the back seat.

  ‘Here it is,’ he said. He slammed the car door shut.

  Billy read the letter out.

  ‘Whiz Kids!’ yelled Rick. ‘That’s my favourite programme!’

  ‘Chloe Small!’ gasped Ellen. ‘She’s brilliant!’

  ‘We’re going to be famous!’ shouted Joe.

  ‘Calm down!’ said Dad.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell us before?’ asked Billy.

  ‘Because Whiz Kids! want to film you doing what you do best – playing good football,’ explained Dad. ‘You might have got a bit carried away if you’d known earlier. They’ll be here any minute. Let’s get on with the practice.’

  The Tigers dashed back towards the pitch. Mr Bright went to follow. There was a ripping sound. Dad stood still.

  ‘Come on, Dad,’ called Billy.

  ‘I can’t!’ wailed Mr Bright.

  ‘He’s got stage fright!’ laughed Rob.

  ‘No!’ yelled Mr Bright. ‘I’m stuck.’

  Billy ran back to the car. Dad’s tracksuit trousers were caught in the door.

  ‘Open the door,’ said Billy.

  ‘I locked it!’ said Dad.

  ‘Where are the keys then?’ asked Billy.

  ‘In there,’ said Dad miserably.

  The car keys were sitting on the front seat.

  ‘You could climb out of your trousers, Mr Bright,’ suggested Kim.

  ‘Yes, I could,’ said Billy’s dad. He thought for a moment. ‘No, I can’t.’

  Mr Bright whispered to Billy. Billy whispered to the team. The Tigers giggled.

  ‘Your mum will be along later,’ said Billy’s dad gloomily. ‘I hope she’s got her spare keys.’

  A van drove through the park gates and came slowly towards them. It said CTV on the side.

  ‘Chloe Small’s here!’ wailed Blocker.

  ‘We’re going to look really stupid,’ said Ellen.

  ‘We’re hopeless without a coach,’ said Rob.

  ‘Billy will coach us,’ said Joe. ‘Won’t you, Billy?’

  Billy nodded. Dad was a bit accident prone so Billy often took over as coach. The Tigers thought he used a coaching book. But Billy didn’t have a book. He had Springer Spannell, Tottingham Town’s most famous goalkeeper, to help him.

  No one else knew that when Billy coached, Springer was on the touchline. No one else could see Springer. Springer Spannell was … a ghost! And Billy had to keep him a secret. It was in Springer’s PhIFA rules.

  Billy was a hopeless coach on his own. And he didn’t want to look silly in front of the TV camera. But there was no sign of the ghost goalie and Chloe Small was coming over. The Tigers gawped in admiration. Dad’s face went red.

  ‘Mr Bright?’ said Chloe Small. ‘Nice to meet you. Shall we get started?’

  ‘Dad can’t coach,’ explained Billy. ‘He’s got …’

  ‘… a brilliant idea!’ burst in Mr Bright. ‘Billy will coach the Tigers.’

  ‘Super!’ said Chloe. ‘That’s what Whiz Kids! is all about. Kids doing it for themselves. Now Billy, let’s see the Tigers in practice.’

  ‘Well …’ said Billy.

  ‘No need to be shy,’ laughed Chloe. ‘You’ll soon forget the camera is there. Just be careful not to trip over the cables. Now, what are you going to do first?’

  The Tigers looked at Billy. Billy looked round for Springer.

  ‘Er …’ said Billy. ‘I’ll let the team choose.’

  ‘Super!’ said Chloe Small.

  ‘Right then,’ said Billy, nervously. ‘Who’s going first?’

  The team ran on to the pitch.

  They all wanted to be on camera at once.

  ‘What’s this?’ said a voice. ‘Looks like a horror film.’

  Billy looked up. A man was standing on the touchline. He was wobbly round the edges and Billy could see right through him. It was like looking through a cucumber jelly. It was Springer!

  ‘Sorry I’m late,’ said Springer. ‘I got diverted by the road-works at the roundabout. Where’s your dad this time?’

  Billy told him.

  ‘Oh dear,’ chuckled Springer. ‘Tell him not to wriggle. Now, what’s going on here?’

  Billy showed Springer the letter.

  ‘Great!’ said Springer. ‘I was on telly once. It was black and white in those days. Wonder what I’ll look like in colour.’

  ‘No!’ yelled Billy. ‘They might film you! You mustn’t be seen.’

  The cameraman didn’t bat an eyelid, but Chloe Small looked puzzled.

  ‘I have to be seen!’ she said. ‘I present the programme.’

  Billy heaved a sigh of relief. No one could see the ghost goalie.

  ‘I think the Tigers are rather excited,’ Chloe Small went on. ‘Shall we try again? I’m sure you’ll want the viewers to see you at your best.’

  ‘Great idea!’ said Billy. ‘They’ll play well now Springer’s here.’

  He led the Tigers on to the pitch.

  ‘Let’s show them how to do it properly,’ called Springer from the touchline. ‘Dribbling and tackling – in pairs.’

  When Crystal Rovers arrived, Chloe Small called the Tigers over.

  ‘That practice was super!’ she said. ‘Now we’ll film some of the action. Good luck, Tigers!’

  Billy couldn’t wait to see the finished Whiz Kids! programme. With Springer’s secret coaching, nothing could go wrong. The Tigers would be famous.

  The Rovers won the toss and chose ends. The cameraman raised his camera to his shoulder. The sound man lifted his fluffy microphone. The referee blew his whistle and Bullseye kicked off.

  The Rovers had some new players, and the Tigers soon realised it would be a tough game.

  Bullseye tapped the ball to Billy, who pushed it out to the wing, where Rick picked it up. A Rovers’ midfielder moved in straight away and took possession. Play came into the Tigers’ half.

  ‘Come on, Tigers!’ shouted Springer. ‘Launch a counterattack! Tell Terry to block that striker till the others get there.’

  ‘Terry, block him!’ shouted Billy. ‘Blocker and Lisa – get up in support!’

  But the Rovers’ striker dodged Terry and headed for goal. Blocker and Lisa sprinted after him. Springer dashed up the touchline. The camera crew followed the action. Mona was ready on her toes in the goal mouth. The striker belted the ball at the goal. Mona sprang in the air and punched it away. The striker caught it on the volley and hammered the ball at the net again. It looked
like a certain goal. But with a perfectly judged dive, Mona gathered the ball safely to her chest.

  ‘Brilliant save, Mona!’ yelled Springer. ‘I hope they got it on film.’

  ‘Super!’ said Chloe Small to the cameraman. ‘I hope you got it on film.’

  ‘I’ll rewind and check,’ said the cameraman.

  Mona was getting ready to kick the ball up the pitch.

  ‘Now Tigers,’ called Springer, ‘fast on your feet. One touch passing. Don’t give the ball away.’

  ‘One touch passing,’ Billy called to the Tigers. ‘Don’t give the ball away.’

  Joe received the ball from Mona and knocked it straight on to Lisa.

  ‘Over to Rob!’ shouted Springer.

  ‘To Rob!’ shouted Billy.

  With a long, low pass, Lisa sent the ball to Rob.

  ‘Perfect!’ yelled Springer, running along the touchline. ‘Lob it to B …’ Suddenly, Springer stopped dead.

  Billy looked over.

  ‘Lob it to who?’ he called.

  ‘I dunno!’ said Blocker.

  ‘Not you, Blocker,’ sighed Billy.

  ‘Bottibol!’ shouted Springer.

  ‘Botty’s ball?’ repeated Billy, scratching his head.

  ‘Who’s Botty?’ said Kim.

  ‘It can’t be Billy!’ laughed Ellen. ‘He’s potty!’

  The Rovers had gained possession. But Billy didn’t notice. He was watching Springer. The ghost goalie was dashing along the touchline – backwards.

  ‘Stop messing about, Springer!’ hissed Billy, running after him.

  But Springer didn’t seem to hear him. He stopped and then ran forwards again. But this time he did it all in slow motion. Billy stood and watched in amazement. He didn’t notice he was standing in the Tigers’ goal area.

  ‘The filming is looking fine, Chloe,’ called the cameraman.

  He stopped the playback and Springer came to a halt. The ghost goalie looked puzzled.

  ‘This is our big moment,’ said Billy to Springer, ‘and you’re just showing off.’

  ‘No, I’m not,’ said Blocker, as he ran past. ‘I’m saving my famous handspring for the second half.’

  ‘Not you, Blocker,’ sighed Billy.

  ‘Sorry, Billy,’ called Springer. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’ He looked at the game. ‘Quick,’ he said, ‘mind the ball!’

  ‘Quick, Billy,’ yelled Ellen, ‘mind the ball!’

  But it was too late. The Rovers’ striker had blasted the ball at goal. The shot was wide. Well, it would have been wide, if the ball hadn’t bounced off the back of Billy’s head and straight into the goal. The Rovers were one-nil up.

  The cameraman was shaking his head.

  ‘We were told they were a good team,’ said Chloe Small. ‘We may have to look elsewhere.’

  Billy felt dreadful. He had scored an own goal – in front of the cameras!

  ‘Sorry, everyone,’ he murmured.

  By half-time the Tigers were two-nil down. They slouched off the pitch.

  ‘I don’t know what’s got into Billy,’ said Lisa.

  ‘He kept yelling at thin air,’ complained Kim.

  ‘He shouted ‘elbbird’ at me,’ moaned Joe. ‘He said it’s in his coaching book.’

  ‘Birdwatching book, more like,’ said Blocker.

  Chloe Small came over.

  ‘I’ve never seen coaching like that,’ she said, trying to smile. ‘Perhaps your dad could take over now.’

  Billy looked over to the carpark. Dad was still stuck to the car and there was no sign of Mum.

  ‘He can’t,’ said Billy. ‘It’s his pants … I mean, it makes him pant!’

  ‘Oh dear,’ said Chloe Small. ‘Tell him he needs to get fit!’

  Billy didn’t know what to do. Springer had gone mad and the Tigers were losing the chance to be on Whiz Kids! Then he overheard the cameraman and the sound man. They were fiddling with the camera.

  ‘It’s the latest model,’ the cameraman was saying. ‘Let me show you what it can do.’

  The sound man peered through the viewfinder. The cameraman flicked a switch.

  ‘The wobble,’ he said.

  Billy suddenly saw Springer wobbling like a plate of jelly. The cameraman twisted a dial.

  ‘The shrink.’

  Springer stopped wobbling and shrank to the size of a football.

  ‘The split screen,’ said the cameraman, as he pressed a button.

  Springer grew back to his normal size, then his legs went left and the rest of his body went right. Billy gawped. Then he realised what was going on.

  ‘It’s the camera!’ yelled Billy.

  ‘’Course it is, son,’ said the cameraman. ‘What did you think it was?’

  Billy ran over to the top half of Springer.

  ‘It’s the camera doing this to you!’ he whispered. ‘You’ve got to get out of its range. The moment you get your legs back, run away!’

  ‘Thanks, Billy!’ said Springer, weakly. ‘I was beginning to think I had phantom flu. There’s nothing about this in my PhIFA rules.’

  As soon as Springer found his legs, he sprinted away across the park. But at that moment, the cameraman decided to rewind the film. Springer came back again.

  There’s only one thing for it, thought Billy. If the Tigers were going to show Chloe Small how good they really were, he’d have to stop the camera somehow, so that Springer could escape. He walked around, thinking hard.

  All of a sudden, Billy found himself flat on his face. He had tripped over the camera cable. He sat up and rubbed his knee. Then he realised that he had pulled the lead out of the camera with his foot. This was the chance Springer needed.

  ‘Quick, Springer!’ he hissed. ‘Run away.’

  Springer fled. The cameraman scowled at Billy. He plugged the camera back in and carried on rewinding. But Springer had reached the other side of the park. He was safe.

  The teams took their positions for the second half. The Rovers kicked off, but Lisa won the ball with a brilliant tackle. She tapped the ball to Bullseye. Bullseye lobbed it over to Rick. Rick was tightly marked. Billy waited for Springer’s instructions. Then he realised that Springer could be chanting his eleven times table for all he knew. He couldn’t hear a word. It was going to be a disaster. The Tigers were going to lose. And the only television programme they would get on was ‘How Not To Play Football’.

  Then suddenly, he heard a booming voice.

  ‘TESTING, TESTING, ONE, TWO, THREE. SPRINGER CALLING. CAN YOU HEAR ME, BILLY? WAVE YOUR ARMS IF YOU CAN.’

  Billy jumped in the air with a whoop and waved his arms. Rick was so surprised he kicked the ball out of play.

  ‘Being on television’s gone to Billy’s brain,’ muttered Lisa.

  ‘I wish this was over,’ wailed Ellen.

  ‘I wish I could go home,’ said Bullseye.

  ‘I CAN COACH YOU FROM HERE, BILLY!’ called Springer.

  ‘I EXPECT YOU ARE WONDERING HOW I AM DOING THIS,’ called Springer. ‘PhlFA RULE NUMBER FOURTEEN. IF A GHOST COACH HAS TO COACH FROM A DISTANCE, HE MAY USE A GHOST LOUDSPEAKER AND BINOCULARS. NOW LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.’

  The Rovers got ready to take the throw. Billy called to his team.

  ‘Sorry about that, Tigers. I was … a bit camera shy. I’m all right now. There’s still time to win.’

  As the ball sailed into play, Billy leapt and intercepted it with a header. It went straight to Blocker’s feet. He curled the ball over to Rick. Rick pushed it to Bullseye, who lobbed it to Kim. Kim found herself surrounded by defenders and backheeled the ball to Rob.

  ‘HAVE A SHOT, ROB!’ yelled Springer.

  ‘Shoot, Rob!’ screeched Billy. Rob drilled the ball into the back of the net. On the other side of the park, Springer leapt in the air. At last, the Tigers were playing like the good football team they were.

  The cameraman kept his film rolling.

  ‘Super!’ sighed Chloe Small. ‘This will be the bes
t Whiz Kids! ever.’ She quickly combed her hair and grabbed the microphone. ‘The Tigers are playing like a Premiership side. It’s action like this that has made them the good team they are. Now Ellen has the ball. She’s passed to Terry. On to Joe. It’s a brilliant punt across to Lisa. She’s tapped it to Kim. Kim to Billy. Billy’s not going to shoot from there, is he? It’s an awkward angle … he has! It’s skimmed the post … and it’s a goal!’

  ‘DO IT AGAIN!’ shouted Springer.

  ‘Do it again!’ shouted the Tigers’ supporters.

  Soon the Tigers were back in the Rovers’ goal mouth. Bullseye blasted the ball at goal, but the Rovers’ keeper pushed it round the post. It was a Tigers’ corner. Billy placed the ball by the corner flag and took three steps back.

  ‘HIT IT TO THE NEAR POST!’ shouted Springer.

  Billy hit the ball with the side of his boot. The ball curled through the air. Tigers and Rovers leapt up to meet it. A Rovers’ defender headed the ball out. Blocker saw it coming his way. This was the moment for Chloe Small and the camera to see his famous handspring. Blocker jumped on to his hands and kicked his legs up behind him. The goalie’s mouth dropped open, as Blocker’s flying heels drove the ball into the back of the net. It was three-two. The Tigers were in the lead.

  Over in the car-park, Billy’s mum sorted out her keys and unlocked the car.

  ‘Thanks, love,’ said Mr Bright. ‘Now I can take over the coaching. I’ll be on television after all!’

  He arrived at the touchline just as the final whistle blew.

  Three weeks later, the Tigers were on television.

  Other titles in the same series

  Ghost Goalie

  The Tigers football team are full of confidence about the next match. But their coach falls ill just before they are due to play! The Tigers are desperate. How can they win without him? Perhaps they can, with a very special bit of ghostly help …